11 reasons to hate driving in Spain

I’ve put together 11 things to hate driving in Spain just for fun because we love Spaniards really!

1. Spaniards have little respect and are not very courteous on the road. Just try pulling out of a turning and see who stops. You might be in for a long one!

2. Hogging the outside lanes on motorways. Yes, let’s hold up all the traffic on the motorway by hogging the outside lane by driving at 50kph and ignore all requests to swap lanes. We can also add to this, the middle lane gang who won’t get into the inside lane for love nor money. And they drive at 50kph just to make sure they piss everyone off.

3. If you have a VW Golf beware as it’s like a magnet to every Spanish roadhog and they’ll see it as a sign to cut you up, race you and also to give you the proverbial “bird”.

4. Old gits in 4×4′s. They seem to own the road in Spain. The bigger the better.

5. Pedestrians beware. Don’t even bother to wait for a Spaniard to stop at a crossing. There’s more chance of Great Britain handing Gibraltar back to Spain.

6. The news in Spain, especially at the weekends is rather special. All news channels take it in turn to tell us how many Spaniards have died on the roads that weekend and how many have been severely injured. Choice!

7. If you’re on any kind of motorbike, moped or push bike, please use the pavements to drive up and down on. After all, with so little respect for pedestrians, who cares if you get in the way and nearly knock one down. Hey, that’s 100 points Pedro!

8. Motorbikes parked on the pavements. Really cool, especially when they drip oil all over the place and obstruct you coming out of your flat/house.

9. Taking off at the traffic lights on red. One of my favourites is this one and you can usually see the consequences in Number 4.

10. Going round roundabouts the wrong way especially good if you live in any kind of urbanization, resdiential area etc. Why go round the right way when you can take a shortcut, go around the wrong way and get to your destination 10 seconds quicker.

11. Traffic cops drinking beer in bars. Would you like to be stopped and given a breathalyser after one of these clowns has just had a “quinto” or two?

So to recap, to be the perfect Spaniard on the road, just make sure that you have a big ego, never let anyone out of a turning especially at junctions with those big gridded yellow boxes, never stop at zebra crossings, try to “hacer la puñeta” to every man and his dog, don’t bother wearing a seatbelt (what for?) and just generally make sure you have the biggest “cojones” on the road.

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